How To Broach The Topic Of Divorce
Your marriage is tedious and depressing, and you have no desire to even attempt to make it work. Divorce seems like the only option. As much as you’d like to get out, even contemplating the drama and nastiness you could be facing is more than a bit overwhelming. Yes, this is a big deal, and your partner has every right to react. You know that how you initiate the divorce discussion is every bit as important as what you have to say.
What’s at the Heart of Matters?
To begin with, you need to come to terms with the reality of what’s about to happen. What feelings are you experiencing? How long has this been going on, and what are the factors that contributed to the problem? How do you think your spouse will respond? What questions will your partner have, and what answers do you have? Once you’ve steeped in these issues, you need to consolidate your thoughts, prepare what you want to say, and choose how, when, and where you will initiate the discussion about a divorce. Before the conversation, be prepared to do the following:
- Be honest and frank, while also demonstrating care. You want to be candid, so your partner has a clear understanding of your direction right away. Be clear and precise about your need to end the marriage and the reasons motivating your decision.
- Stay calm. Whatever you say will be augmented by the way you say it. Your gestures, tone, and facial expressions will communicate your emotions, and if you’re ruffled, hostile, or annoyed, it will likely inflame an equally emotional response from your partner.
- Stick with the things that are pertinent today, not old accusations or wounds. If your partner’s response becomes hypercritical or incensed, don’t be sidetracked. Remember that your partner may be having a difficult time taking this all in, and just because you’ve come prepared to be composed, they may be shaken. After all, you’ve had a lot more time to get used to the idea of a split.
- Hear what your spouse has to say. They will doubtlessly have thoughts, questions, and wishes. Listen, compromise where you can, but engage without feeling you need to accommodate all of their demands.
- Hold the line if you’re sure this is what you really want (which it should be if you’re having this conversation). Despite threats, entreaties, or promises, (or all of the above!) if this is the real deal, stick to your guns. It’s the only way you’ll both get used to the idea, which is a much better plan than dragging out unrealistic hopes that the marriage will survive.
- Give your spouse time and space to accept your decision. Meanwhile, figure out if you’ll be able to continue living in the same home, or if one of you needs to find another (perhaps temporary) place to hang right away. Ultimately, the two of you will need to have some comprehensive conversations about things like how to tell the kids, custody plans, long-term living arrangements, property division, and financial realities. For the moment, take care of now.
Work With a Trusted Divorce Attorney
Divorce is never easy, but it can definitely go more smoothly when you have an experienced Baltimore family attorney working toward realistic goals on your behalf. At The Law Office of Hasson D. Barnes you can count on us to have your back. Schedule a confidential consultation in our office to discuss your situation today.
