Are Your Adult Kids Freaking Out About Your Divorce?

These days more and more people over the age of 50 are splitting up, and many are discovering the unhappy truth that relationships among adult children can get pretty ugly. What’s going on that makes gray divorce so complicated, and what can be done to mitigate the issues?

Higher Divorce Rates for Seniors 

In just one decade, the rate of divorce among Americans 50+ doubled. There are those who foresee 30 percent or more increase in divorce in this demographic by 2030. With over one-third of modern divorces occurring between older couples in this country today, it’s clear that older couples are increasingly unhappy together.

Divorce and Stress are Synonyms 

Most people understand that even the cleanest divorces can be very stressful. When couples have been together for years, even decades, the effects can be particularly weighty. The research is clear: divorced individuals endure higher rates of substance abuse, depression, illness, and mortality than married people. They are 20 percent more likely to suffer long-term health issues including mobility concerns, metabolic problems, digestive issues, heart disease, diabetes, and even cancer.

When Adult Children Make Matters Worse 

When the certain stress of divorce is exacerbated by outside factors such as the reactions of adult children, anxiety levels can definitely escalate.  Woefully, it’s all too common for kids to blame one parent for wronging the other and blowing up the family. In some families, adult children just cannot acknowledge that their family is breaking apart, even though they may have moved on with their own lives. The impact of their judgment can be devastating to a parent, especially when adult children become estranged as a result of their rage and confusion around their parents’ divorce. Research indicates that when parents lose touch with an adult child for a year or more, it intensifies both the mental and the physical health problems for affected parents.

Adult Kids Suffer, too 

It’s worthwhile to acknowledge that adult children are often just as devastated by their parents’ divorce as young kids are. That may explain why the children of divorcees who are adults themselves often make things more complicated for their divorcing parents. In truth, their lives will be changing in ways they hadn’t previously imagined:  Who will get an invite to their kids’ birthday parties? Where will the family Christmas be held? And what are they supposed to feel if one or both parents start dating again? It can all feel like too much to handle. What now?

Is Counseling an Option? 

It may seem strange to engage in family counseling at this point in life, but some experts feel it’s just the thing to help to repair relationships between adult children and their parents following a troubling divorce. It may be worth considering for you.

Your Divorce Concerns Addressed 

At The Law Office of Hasson D. Barnes, our experienced Baltimore family attorneys always work to achieve the best possible outcomes for you. To discuss your situation, schedule a confidential consultation in our office today.

Source:

psychologytoday.com/us/blog/better-divorce/202208/the-real-long-term-physical-and-mental-health-effects-divorce