Transitions In Shared Custody Situations
If you are finding that the kids’ transitions from one parent to another is confusing and frustrating for everyone, know that the back-and-forth can be much easier. How can parents make the transition less like a ball bouncing from house to house and more like a smooth, simple part of life that is drama-free for everyone involved? It’s definitely possible. The experience needn’t be jarring for parents or tough on kids when the people they love—their parents—learn how to handle transitions with care. So take the steps to make it all work better for everyone!
Making it Smooth
For parents who have faced anxiety, loneliness, or jealousy as you observe your kids heading out to spend time with a former spouse, take heart. Sorrow and the resulting chaos don’t have to be the norm. There are things you can do to ease the misery and make transitions easy and stress-free:
- For starters, recognize that, as much as you worry about your children when they are with your ex, you may be causing them to worry about you, too. While you think you’re consoling them by telling them how much you miss them, the truth is that you could be heaping some pretty heavy guilt on them. Just think about it: how can your children enjoy their time away when they know you’re all alone at home feeling blue? We know that kids generally empathize with their parents, so it’s got to be a challenge for them to relax and enjoy themselves when consumed with worry. Understanding that your kids will be healthier emotionally and generally content if they know you are happy is the best reason to avoid weighing them down with worry.
- Find a way to address troubling emotions. If you’re still wrestling with a lot of disconcerting emotions, this could be the best time to work through them by scheduling time with a good friend, counselor, or religious leader. Perhaps activities like journaling, hiking, or yoga would help. Whatever you choose, investing in your emotional wellbeing by finding meaning in the divorce will help you to be more forward focused, and that will benefit both your mental and your physical health, and advantage you in all kinds of situations down the road.
- Develop a blueprint for your time alone. As your children enjoy time with their co-parent, you actually have the exceptional gift of free time! Commandeer those moments to do something for yourself. After all—how often are you truly unrestricted by the kids’ needs and schedule? Now’s the time to adjust your thinking: instead of viewing alone time as being forsaken and abandoned, think of it as new found freedom. Care for yourself by working out, attacking the deep-cleaning projects you’ve been putting off, playing a round of golf, or just watching R-rated movies with a plate of hot wings! As you care for yourself, you’ll find that you’re more relaxed and better able to deal with the stresses of daily life, and more content overall. Your kids will thank you for it, too!
Experienced Divorce Attorneys
The Baltimore family attorneys at The Law Office of Hasson D. Barnes understand how complicated divorce can get, and they know the aftermath can be emotional instability. That’s why they work to make the process as stress-free as possible while fighting for the best possible outcomes for you. To discuss, schedule a confidential consultation in our Baltimore office today.
